Embracing Mother’s Day: A Journey Through Every Emotion

Mother’s Day is often viewed as a joyful celebration of motherhood. It brings flowers, cards, social media posts, and family gatherings. For some, these moments are heartwarming. For others, they can evoke feelings of heartbreak. And many may experience a mix of both emotions.

As a therapist working with individuals facing infertility, pregnancy loss, postpartum transitions, and the complexities of motherhood, I want to address the full range of emotions this day can evoke.

Mother's Day is not a one-size-fits-all occasion. You do not have to feel any specific way today. Wherever you are on your journey, this message is for you.

For the New Mothers: The Joyful, the Overwhelmed, and the Somewhere-In-Between

This year, you might be celebrating your very first Mother’s Day. Your arms are finally full, and your heart brims with love. However, your body and mind may also feel completely drained. The postpartum period is tender and transformative. It’s a time of significant identity shifts, hormonal changes, physical recovery, and those sleepless nights that seem endless. Amidst the love, there is also uncertainty.

You may feel immense gratitude alongside grief for the parts of yourself that feel lost. You could be deeply bonded with your baby, or you might be struggling to connect. If you question if that makes you a "bad" mom, I want to assure you, it absolutely does not.

You are not alone in these feelings. The early days of motherhood are often romanticized, yet the reality is complex. Joy can coexist with exhaustion, doubt, and overwhelm. If you don’t feel the glow of motherhood, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you; it means you’re human. Give yourself grace during this time.

For Those Longing to Become Mothers

If you are in the thick of trying to conceive, navigating the ups and downs of fertility treatments, or dealing with repeated disappointments, Mother’s Day can be especially painful.

You might find yourself dreading this day—not out of bitterness, but because it serves as a reminder of what you don’t have yet or what you fear you may never have.

The silence surrounding infertility can feel deafening, leaving many feeling isolated or ashamed. I want you to know that your grief is real. Your hope is genuine. Your story is important.

Whether you are just starting this journey or have traveled it for years, your emotions deserve care. You have the right to mourn, to hope, or to be angry. Protect your heart today in a way that feels right for you.

For Those Who Have Experienced Loss

Experiencing the loss of a pregnancy, stillbirth, neonatal death, or the death of a child at any age can profoundly reshape your relationship with motherhood. If you’ve lived through this, you know that Mother’s Day can hit like a thunderclap—loud, jarring, and impossible to ignore.

You may feel pressured to “move on” or ensure your grief doesn’t intrude on others’ celebrations. However, grief doesn’t follow a calendar, nor does it need to be silenced. Your child—whether you held them for a brief moment or a lifetime—will always matter.

You are a mother. There’s no need for further qualification.

It is perfectly okay to cry, light a candle, visit a memory box, or do absolutely nothing at all. There is no right way to grieve, and there is no timeline for mourning.

Honoring your loss is a sacred act. Whether your pain is visible or held in silence, you are cradled in compassion.

For Those in the Gray Areas of Motherhood

Some individuals find that their experiences aren’t represented in the typical Mother’s Day narratives. Perhaps you’re a stepmother navigating intricate family dynamics, or a foster parent caring for children who are not yours biologically. You might be pursuing adoption, or in a relationship supporting children who are not from your union.

You might even question whether motherhood is something you desire—or you might have wanted it, but life led you down a different path.

For many, this day also evokes challenging memories of strained relationships with their mothers. Some grieve mothers who have passed, while others are working to break cycles they’ve experienced.

Wherever you find yourself in this spectrum, know that you are allowed to feel what you feel. You can celebrate, disconnect, mourn, or simply get through the day without any fanfare.

Making Space for All the Feelings

Mother’s Day can be a blend of joy and appreciation, and it can just as easily stir feelings of sadness, guilt, anxiety, anger, and longing. These feelings are not opposites; they are companions. Our emotional lives are intricate, and this day often stirs up various threads at once.

If today proves difficult for you, consider the following:

• Give yourself permission to opt out. You don’t have to participate in events or conversations that don’t resonate with you.

• Unplug from social media. Curated snapshots of motherhood can feel painful or isolating.

• Create your own ritual. Light a candle, write a letter, or take a walk—make space for your own version of honoring or grieving.

• Reach out. Whether it’s a friend, support group, or therapist, know that you don’t have to navigate this alone.

  
  

Needing care on Mother’s Day is not “wrong.” It’s an act of strength to recognize what you need.

A Message from My Heart to Yours

As someone who holds space for many navigating the complex realities of conception, pregnancy, parenting, and loss, I want to express this:

You are seen.

You are valid in your joy, sorrow, anger, gratitude, numbness, and everything in between. Mother’s Day does not determine how “successful” or “fulfilled” you are. It is just a day, and you have the power to define what it means to you.

If you are struggling, please reach out. If you’re celebrating, let it be meaningful in your own way. And if you find yourself somewhere in-between, know that you are not alone in that space.

Today, and every day, I hold space for your story.